There are times in our lives that things feel like they are going well and we feel content. Then there are the times when the opposite are the reality. Many people are having a difficult time right now because we have lost access to many of the things we do, the places we go and the people we normally spend time with. These are the “whats” of our lives. Many of us spend a great deal of time on the “whats” without periodically reexamining them to see if they match the “whys”. The “whys” of our lives are rooted in our core values.
We have the unique opportunity now that many of the “whats” are on hold to reestablish the whys and realign them. Make a list of your core values. If you find this hard imagine the personal characteristics that people compliment you on, or the ones you wish others would. Alternately try the things you seem to notice in others when they are doing well. Common ones are kindness, warmth, honesty, tenacity, love of learning, loyalty, humor, altruism, etc. Pick a few and rank them in order of importance. Next rate how well you are doing in each. Pick your top one and make it your focus for the week. Try to live your day in alignment with that value. Next week pick a different one.
Research shows that interesting things start happening, namely contentment and joy come more easily and stick around longer. Notice how you feel when your new “whats” start aligning with the whys.
Landon Moyers DNP, PMHNP-BC